martehelen September 12, 2018

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Instead of meeting people in real life, actually talking to each other, we´re constantly swiping and texting. And instead of telling people how we actually feel, we don´t text back. Instead of being honest, we ghost, and get ghosted. We no longer commit to one human being, we just «hang out» or «chill» with multiple. It´s like a constant battle of who is the least interested in the other, fearing that we´ll get rejected. We have become the generation whom is afraid of being in love.


“We live in a generation of not being in love, and not being together. But we sure make it feel like we´re together, because we´re scared to see each other with somebody else. » – Drake, (Doing it wrong)


Drake talks a lot about breakups, loneliness and lack of commitment in his tracks. One of his most popular songs «Best I ever had» released in 2009 was a love ballad about a special girl, which propelled Drake to being one of the top rappers in the US. Well, the relationship culture in 2018 looks nothing like it did back in 2009. With more focus on career, developments in technology, sexual liberation, increased freedom of travelling, and normalization of divorces has led to an entire new way of dating and the way humans relate to each other.


Instead of meaningful conversations, strong connections and honest relations we struggle through a series of bad hookups and boring dates. Tinder, Happn and all other dating apps and websites have a huge saying in this matter. Platforms like these basically lead us into focusing on things about a relationship that doesn’t really matter. We swipe left and right based on looks, education, or social status. Constantly believing that the next one will be more interesting, be more attractive, or have a more appealing bio. Leading to a overload of choices and alternatives that the human kind seem to struggle coping with, which is making it difficult for us to settle or decide. I’m guessing some of you have swiped on Tinder before, and after a bit you just sit there and end up feeling kinda empty because again, this time, you didn’t find your perfect match. And then you feel a little bit sad that you might end up lonely, and that you´ll never swipe to find “the one”. Which I truly believe that some of you won’t, by sticking to the modern way of dating by using apps and websites. Go out to a bar, talk to strangers, say hi to someone at the library, invite a stranger for a coffee.


I, myself personally believe in faith, and destiny. Relationships to be are either meant to workout, or don´t. And there´s nothing you can do about it, because the world has its plans for you, and you need to believe and trust in them. Others might believe in growth. And that even though things might not work in the beginning, they can work it out and develop. Either way this modern way of “chasing” love is sickening, and to treat people like candy you pick from the store is completely wrong in all ways and it has to stop.


“Modern life dating is nothing but a cognitive overload of lousy people and boring minds.” – (Marte-Helen L. Hammer, 2018)